We live to love as we love to live. From the moment we graduated from our Sesame Street days, we’ve learned that loving someone is everyone’s ultimate dream. Others get lucky and hit a bull’s eye on the first encounter. The other half ends up jumping from one relationship to another and experiences the longest journey of finding love they can possibly survive. But however we’ve had our own version of romance, one thing is for sure: We all want a love life that we can grow old into.
Sometimes, the love life that used to give you happiness, put a smile on your face and make your heart jump out of joy, turns into a monster that causes your tears to flow along with hurtful experiences. Thus, making your love life complicated.
What is a complicated love life?
If you are to turn the pages of the dictionary and look for the meaning of the word complicated, dear old Webster says it is something that is difficult to analyze or understand. Therefore, it is safe to say that a complicated love life is a romantic relationship that is difficult to analyze or understand.
A love life that keeps on giving you pain, exhaustion, anger and anything in between every single day can be considered a complicated love life. That’s why, if you keep on having a fight over both small and big things, and not being able to reconcile or at least compromise, that’s something we can say complicated. If you find out that your partner is having an affair, despite your outstanding efforts to keep the relationship flourishing, that’s something complicated. Or, if it’s the other way around, that’s something we can call complicated.
When to say, “It’s time.”
• Problems just keep on coming even before the most recent has not yet been attended to. And this is because you two cannot agree on anything anymore.
• Listening to each other’s explanations becomes unhelpful.
• Respecting each other is practically gone.
• The word trust is out from the set of vocabulary you use in the relationship.
• Discontentment is boiling and about to explode.
In the absence of reason, respect, trust, love and understanding, stop. Pack your things, say goodbye, good riddance. Anything that damages your well being or the other person’s well being needs a stop sign. Be brave and put each other’s miseries to an end.
How to get out of that dumpster you’re in?
• Prepare yourself.
• It’s good to write down what you want to say. Remember that it’s not what you say but how you say it. Be careful with the words you choose.
• Memorize what you wrote.
• Pack your things.
• Condition your whole being that there is no turning back.
• Choose a private and intimate venue.
• Make sure that both of you are calm when you decide to discuss parting ways.
• Deliver your speech. Once you’ve ended it, grab your luggage and head to the door. Listening to your partner’s reasons and never ending promises of change may soften you, so never look back.
• If you cannot handle a discussion, you can just leave a sincere letter. Pour your heart out and wish the other person well.
Most of the time, we get to see the idea of putting an end to a complicated relationship you’ve been fond of as another complication. But if you will think about it, ending a complicated love life is the strongest antidote, even if it’s the bitterest pill you two need to take. Ending a relationship, no matter how gentle you try, still hurts.