Are You in Control of Your Life and Your Relationships?

Posted on

In the movie “Whose Life Is It Anyway” Richard Dreyfuss is a physician who gets sick and needs to be hospitalized at the hospital where he works. The main issue discussed in the movie is, whether the physician is now “in control” of his life. The doctor-turned-patient doesn’t want to give up control, but this task is being taken away from him by the doctors treating him.

Are you in control of your life?

Thinking about your life – do you feel you’re in full control:

* When it comes to relationships, do you control your emotions, reactions and behaviors – or find yourself “controlled” by them?

* Do you feel you make conscious decisions about how to behave with your partners, or operate based on automatic emotional and behavioural patterns, which repeat themselves over and over again throughout all your interactions?

It is likely that you – like almost everybody else – like to see yourself in control of your decisions, emotions and behaviors. Unfortunately, it is likely that you – like so many others – are not fully aware of different factors which exert power over you, your decisions, attitudes, reactions and behaviors.

You might disagree with the assertion that there are things about yourself you don’t know. It might be painful to think that you are not in total control of your life.

But as long as you are not aware of those factors which drive your emotions, reactions and behaviors:

* You might be interacting with your partners in ways which harm the relationship;

* You are not aware that you harm your relationship. Whenever conflicts arise between you and your partners you blame them, not willing to take responsibility for your part in the problems (or the eventual break-up of the relationship).

* You’ll continue behaving in all your relationships in the same harmful ways which you’ve been used to. That’s all you know. You don’t know better.

Being aware is a skill to be learned

Self-Awareness is not something you have been taught in school or at home. So is it surprising that you might not be aware of the ways in which you harm your relationships. You behave according to what feels right to you.

If you are willing to contemplate the possibility that:

* There might be things about yourself that you don’t know;
* You might be sabotaging your relationships –

Then

You can take the necessary steps to become Self-Aware

As you get to know and understand yourself better, acknowledge and accept those factors which drive you to sabotage your relationships, you become empowered to make the necessary changes and cultivate a healthy and satisfying relationship.